Are You Actually a Good Listener?
Dec. 28, 2018, 4:27 p.m.
Maybe you think you can listen well. People evaluate their own listening skills in a similar way as the ability to drive a car - the majority of adults think that it is above average in this area. But is it really so? We know from experience that most people think that good listening comes down to the following three issues: Silence when others say. Showing the speaker that we are listening to him using facial expressions or verbal signals ("Mmm, hmm") The ability to repeat what the interlocutor said, almost word for word. Good listening is much more than just silence when the other person speaks The best listeners are those who from time to time ask questions that allow them to get information and a better understanding of the situation. These questions gently, but constructively, question previous assumptions. Sitting alone and nodding is not a guarantee of listening. Good listening builds the self-esteem of the interlocutor The best listeners made the conversation a positive experience for the interlocutor, which was impossible if the listener played a passive (or critical!) role. Good listeners show their support and trust to their interlocutors. Good listening means creating a safe environment where you can openly discuss problems and differences of opinion. Good listening is revealed in a cooperation-based conversation In such interactions, feedback flows freely in both directions, and neither side takes a defensive attitude. For a change, weak listeners are perceived as rival people - those who listen only to point out mistakes in reasoning or logic or also use silence as an opportunity to prepare another retort. Thanks to these features you can be great at debating, but you will not learn to listen well. People who listen well may question assumptions or disagree with interlocutors, but they will feel that listeners are trying to help, not just win in the discussion. Are you a good listener? Invest some time and energy to become a better listener. You will be surprised how many things will become understandable to you and how many people will be closer.